Graduation Speech 2013

Good evening everyone! Welcome to all of the parents, grandparents, special friends, faculty, administration and staff here tonight. I want to say a special thanks to the maintenance crew including Bob, Kevin, Todd, Christian, Carly and Cyril for working so hard this week to make sure all the events are set up and ready. Thanks also to Kay Hanson and Tony Catanese. I like to think of them as the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers of Graland. They organize all of the grad events and make everything look so smooth in the process. Most importantly, thanks and congratulations to the Class of 2013; we are here to celebrate you!

Last year, I stood up here and talked about the multiple themes that described the Class of 2012. It was a long-winded and boring speech. This year for the Class of 2013, I decided to simplify (because as the kids know - “less is more”) and I settled on the theme of … humor. Before I start a speech, I usually find it prudent to present several disclaimers about what may or may not occur during the actual transcript. First, for those of you expecting a giggle fest full of inside jokes and hysterical memories from the past year, this speech will seriously disappoint you. Second, I realize that it would be self-aggrandizing of me to give a dissertation on the theme of humor and pretend that I was an expert on the subject. That it will not be. It also will not be a speech full of clichés about how life is short and you need to follow your dreams. If you haven’t heard that message already; you haven’t been listening very carefully. Lastly, since I am a historian by trade, I decided that we (together) would explore the history and origins of humor and analyze its role in our society. Please, if you will oblige me, take copious notes!

HISTORY of HUMOR

Author E.B. White once said, "Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind." I’m not sure if the meaning of that quote is that scientists have no sense of humor (no offense Mrs. McCurdy) or rather that we aren’t supposed to ‘think’ about humor; that it should just be instinctive. Either way, humor is a hard topic to pin down. According to my favorite source (Wikipedia), the etymology of the word humor came from the Greeks who asserted that the balance of fluids (known at the time as humours) in the body was key to overall health and well being. Oh – those clever Greeks knew everything. I guess in today’s parlance we could take that to mean – stay hydrated!

SIGN OF INTELLIGENCE

In my exhaustive research of the topic of humor, it is generally accepted (by intellectual sources like Wikianswers and the Daily Beast) that a high level of humor can indicate a correspondingly high level of intelligence. It can also decrease stress and fight illness and disease. There is a bone named after it…So, we can see that humor has many positive effects. If that is the case, why don’t we all try to be funny all of the time? Well, this goes back to my original thesis: humor is very subjective. I read a definition of humor somewhere that explained it as the opportunity to flip the brain’s presumed assumptions about any given notion. Here is a great example: Two goldfish are in their tank, and one says to the other, “You man the guns, I’ll drive.”I think thatyou thought that the goldfish were actually in a fish tank – didn’t you? I can see that many of you didn’t really find that very funny. Everyone has a different predilection for what they find humorous. Amongst your MESH teachers, here are some examples. Ms. Maslanka seems to appreciate jokes about Shakespeare and protein. Mrs. McCurdy enjoys humor relating to Midwestern people and child-rearing. Mr. Chavez – I’m not quite sure what makes him laugh. He seems to like videos about cats. I say to that “to each - their own!”

FAMILY ROLES

This year in history we started the year by deconstructing the idea of political groups. It is my assertion that the most basic (and pure) political unit is the family. Family members have different opinions, debates and have to make decisions on a regular basis. They also have different roles: the leader, the intellectual, the dissenter and the peacemaker. I believe that in most families, the joker (or the humorist) often plays the peacemaker role. In my family growing up, my mother was in charge of making everyone laugh and that role was essential to our overall mental health. She once told me when I was very young that a monster would come out of the closet and get me in the middle of the night if I didn’t give her a foot rub. (I’m not sure if that is really funny but … she loves to tell that story … mother of the year award) In my current family, my youngest daughter Etta (2 ½) is the ham and makes sure everyone is always laughing when things get tense. Her standard punch line when asked if she is behaving, listening, eating her dinner, etc. is “Just a little bit …” That gets me every time.

Class Examples

You are all wondering by now (and checking your watches), “What does this have to do with me and my child? Seriously, I could be home watching SportsCenter or The Bachelorette. Wrap it up Dresden.” Well - the class of 2013 has many attributes (and a couple of flaws). The one thing that will stick with me most, as they move on to the next segment of their lives, is how much laughter was a significant part of our daily interactions. In 8-1 history, it was Nathan debating with Lexi, David’s corny jokes or Claire’s rap about tea. In 8-2, it was Max’s talking to himself, Kiki’s good-natured sass and McCoy’s odd noises. In 8-3, you all weren’t very funny – sorry. (You did have the best homework record though.) In 8-4, it was Sam Rosen’s spasmodic dancing for the camera, Grace’s peculiar questions and Isabel’s intense hatred of Chairman Mao (that one was quite amusing to me). You all kept me laughing and in good spirits even when we were all stressed from too much work, bad weather and the loss of Flex ACs and for that, I thank you!

IMPORTANCE IN LIFE

For the soon-to-be graduates, I’m sorry to say that life gets more challenging as you get older. The thrill of driving wears off quickly after being stuck in rush hour on I-25. Having a bank account seems pretty cool (all that freedom, independence, yada, yada). It really just means that you have to pay bills regularly. Going to college is a blast for four years until you graduate and have to find a job. Having your own family is the most wonderful experience (trust me) except that you have to change diapers, become sleep deprived and have to find a reasonably priced orthodontist. In conclusion, keep laughing and trying to make others laugh. Laugh at your self and with others. It is good for you – physically and emotionally. Thank you, good luck and good night!